Sunday, April 21, 2013

WHY ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE PERFECT?


ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Muslims are often accused of forcing their daughters into marriage
1. Islamic law requires that females must give their permission before they are married.
Prophet Muhammad (r) said, “The permission of virgins should be taken and their
silence is their consent. ” On one occasion a woman came to the Prophet (r) and
informed him that her father had married her off without her permission. He offered
to annul her marriage, however, she did not accept his offer saying that she only
wanted to confirm her right. A previously married woman has the right to choose for
herself.

2. Muslims are encouraged to help their children find suitable marital partners since
males and females are raised separately in society. Women are spared having to look
for their own mates.
3. From a Western perspective, where teenagers are often required to leave home and
go out to work and look after themselves, it would seem ludicrous for parents to later
on suggest whom they should marry.

4. It has become a practice among some Muslims to force their children to marry their
cousins. For Muslims in the West it becomes a means to help their family members
also reach the West. Consequently, there have been a number of cases reported in the
newspapers in England of the Home Office rescuing Muslim girls from forced
marriages at the airport. There are also many Muslim girls who have run away from
home rather than be forced to marry relatives in villages in Pakistan or India. Such
girls are being given new identities by police authorities and will likely lose their
Islaam in the process.

MUSLIMWOMENCANNOT MARRY THEMSELVES

The Muslim woman is considered oppressed since she must have her father􀂶s
permission to get married.
1. Islaamic law requires the permission of a woman’s father for her marriage to be valid.
Prophet Muhammad (r) was reported to have said, “The marriage of any woman who
marries herself without her guardian􀂶s consent is invalid.”
2. From a Western perspective in which teenagers are required to leave home and fend
for themselves, it would seem unthinkable that the father’s permission would be
needed for marriage.
3. The Muslim woman lives a sheltered life. She is not used to dealing with men outside
her blood relatives whom she cannot marry (mahaarim). The father will be more
capable of judging the young man objectively. The young woman could easily be
fooled or sweet-talked as she tends to be more emotional in her judgement.
4. If the guardian refuses proposals for illegitimate reasons like the persons tribe, race,
color, status, the young lady has the right to seek redress from the court. If he judge
concludes that the father is wrongfully preventing his daughter from marriage, he
may take the guardianship from the father and act as the girls guardian.
DOUBLE STANDARD INMARRIAGE
Muslim males are allowed to marry non-Muslim females but Muslim females are
only allowed to marry Muslim males. This is often cited as discrimination and one of
the symbols of oppression of Muslim females.
1. Muslim males are not allowed to marry any non-Muslim female. Only Christians and
Jews (People of the Book) and not any other religion. This is due to the fact that the
scriptures held sacred by Christians and Jews do contain large portions of revelation
even though the texts have been distorted and changed. Consequently, in honor of the
revelation still remaining in these texts, permission was granted to marry their
women. However, the condition of chastity is added to the permission mentioned in
the Qur’aan. Consequently, only a woman who is either a virgin, divorcee or widow
can be married. This means that the common practice of Muslims from the East
coming to Europe and America and finding blue eyed blondes in discos for wives is
quite illegitimate. Finding chaste females in the West is more difficult than finding
the proverbial “needle in the haystack.” By mid teens, virginity is looked at as a fault
rather than a virtue.
2. The reason for allowing men and not women is in order to protect the woman’s
religion. If a Muslim man requested his Christian wife not to bring alcohol or pork in
his house and that she not wear mini-skirts or kiss his friends, she could comply
without affecting her religious teachings. However, If a Christian husband requested
his Muslim wife to purchase alcohol and serve him pork, to wear mini-skirts and kiss
his friends since it is his custom to kiss the wives of his friends. It is natural for a wife
to try to please her husband. In the case of the Muslim wife, that could lead to the
destruction of her faith.
3. Marriage to non-Muslims is discouraged in situations where Muslims are weak or in
the minority in order to safeguard the religion of the children. If a Muslim man
marries a non-Muslim woman in the West and their marriage ends in divorce, or the
man dies, the courts will award custody of the children to the wife who will likely
raise them as non-Muslims. However, if they were married in a Muslim country, the
Sharee􀂵ah would not give the children to a non-Muslim mother. They would instead
be given to either the husband or his relatives in order to insure they receive a Muslim
upbringing.
                                                                            SOURCE:- DR. BILAL PHILIP
                                                                                                      BOOK OF DAWAH

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