DIVORCE SYSTEM IN ISLAM

DIVORCE IS EASY IN ISLAAM:-

It is generally held that divorce in Islaam is very easy; a man only has to say to his
wife: 􀂳You􀂶re divorced,􀂴 three times and its all over.
1. In reality, divorce is not that easy in Islaam. There are conditions which must be
fulfilled even before its proceedings can begin. Firstly, divorce cannot be pronounced
while a woman is menstruating. Prior to the beginning of the menstrual cycle, many
women suffer mood swings and become cranky. The biological changes in their
systems cause psychological changes that are commonly known as PMS
(premenstrual syndrome). In order to ensure that the cause of the husband
pronouncing divorce is not a product of behavioral changes brought on by PMS,
divorce pronouncement during menses is prohibited. Secondly, the divorce cannot be
pronounced during a period between menses in which the couple has had sexual
relations. The rational being that if the man cared enough about the woman to have
sexual relations, he needs to reflect about his decision more before going ahead. He
will have to wait until after the woman’s next menses ends, before he can pronounce
divorce.
2. The pronouncement is considered invalid if the man was in such a rage that he did not
know what he was saying. This is based on the Prophet’s statement, “The divorce
pronouncement is not valid at the time of [mental] seizure.”
3. After the pronouncement, the divorce does not come into effect until the woman has
had three subsequent menstrual cycles. The first cycle is to insure that she is not
pregnant and the second two are further opportunities for reconciliation. She is not
supposed to leave her home as is common among Muslims today. The husband is
required to continue to maintain her until the waiting period [􀂵iddah] ends.
4. If a woman is pregnant at the time of the pronouncement, her 􀂵iddah is until she has
delivered her child. This principle gives the maximum amount of time for
reconciliation in order for the welfare of the child to be reflected upon.
5. In the final analysis, divorce proceedings are somewhat easier than in many Western
countries [a notable exception being the well known “Mexican divorce” which can be
concluded in a matter of minutes]. The theory being that marriage in Islaam is
primarily a contract and not a sacrament as originally perceived in the West where it
was considered unbreakable [and remains as such among Catholics]. Consequently, if
the contract was entered into with a verbal statement of “I do,” and witnesses, it
should be dissoluble with the statement “I don’t,” and witnesses.

DIVORCE IS ONLY THEMAN􀂶S RIGHT:-

Muslim women are often portrayed as being oppressed due to their being denied the
right to divorce.
1. The pronouncement of divorce (talaaq) is primarily the right of the husband as he is
in the position of authority in the family. Also PMS considerations and the emotional
nature of women could cause a greater incidences of divorce if it were put the hands
of the wives as an automatic right.
2. The wife may institute divorce proceedings by making her request through the court.
If the judge (Qaadee) sees just cause or a real need on her part, he can act on her
behalf and institute the khula  divorce which has a waiting period of only one
menstrual cycle.
3. A woman can obtain the right to pronounce divorce if it is made a condition in her
marriage contract which her husband agrees to. She may also gain the right by
requesting her husband’s permission at any point during the marriage. If permission is
given she may pronounce divorce according to the previously mentioned conditions.
                                 
                                                                                              SOURCE:- DR. BILAL PHILIP
                                                                                                               BOOK OF DAWAH

WHY ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE PERFECT?

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Muslims are often accused of forcing their daughters into marriage
1. Islamic law requires that females must give their permission before they are married.
Prophet Muhammad (r) said, “The permission of virgins should be taken and their
silence is their consent. ” On one occasion a woman came to the Prophet (r) and
informed him that her father had married her off without her permission. He offered
to annul her marriage, however, she did not accept his offer saying that she only
wanted to confirm her right. A previously married woman has the right to choose for
herself.

2. Muslims are encouraged to help their children find suitable marital partners since
males and females are raised separately in society. Women are spared having to look
for their own mates.
3. From a Western perspective, where teenagers are often required to leave home and
go out to work and look after themselves, it would seem ludicrous for parents to later
on suggest whom they should marry.

4. It has become a practice among some Muslims to force their children to marry their
cousins. For Muslims in the West it becomes a means to help their family members
also reach the West. Consequently, there have been a number of cases reported in the
newspapers in England of the Home Office rescuing Muslim girls from forced
marriages at the airport. There are also many Muslim girls who have run away from
home rather than be forced to marry relatives in villages in Pakistan or India. Such
girls are being given new identities by police authorities and will likely lose their
Islaam in the process.

MUSLIMWOMENCANNOT MARRY THEMSELVES

The Muslim woman is considered oppressed since she must have her father􀂶s
permission to get married.
1. Islaamic law requires the permission of a woman’s father for her marriage to be valid.
Prophet Muhammad (r) was reported to have said, “The marriage of any woman who
marries herself without her guardian􀂶s consent is invalid.”
2. From a Western perspective in which teenagers are required to leave home and fend
for themselves, it would seem unthinkable that the father’s permission would be
needed for marriage.
3. The Muslim woman lives a sheltered life. She is not used to dealing with men outside
her blood relatives whom she cannot marry (mahaarim). The father will be more
capable of judging the young man objectively. The young woman could easily be
fooled or sweet-talked as she tends to be more emotional in her judgement.
4. If the guardian refuses proposals for illegitimate reasons like the persons tribe, race,
color, status, the young lady has the right to seek redress from the court. If he judge
concludes that the father is wrongfully preventing his daughter from marriage, he
may take the guardianship from the father and act as the girls guardian.
DOUBLE STANDARD INMARRIAGE
Muslim males are allowed to marry non-Muslim females but Muslim females are
only allowed to marry Muslim males. This is often cited as discrimination and one of
the symbols of oppression of Muslim females.
1. Muslim males are not allowed to marry any non-Muslim female. Only Christians and
Jews (People of the Book) and not any other religion. This is due to the fact that the
scriptures held sacred by Christians and Jews do contain large portions of revelation
even though the texts have been distorted and changed. Consequently, in honor of the
revelation still remaining in these texts, permission was granted to marry their
women. However, the condition of chastity is added to the permission mentioned in
the Qur’aan. Consequently, only a woman who is either a virgin, divorcee or widow
can be married. This means that the common practice of Muslims from the East
coming to Europe and America and finding blue eyed blondes in discos for wives is
quite illegitimate. Finding chaste females in the West is more difficult than finding
the proverbial “needle in the haystack.” By mid teens, virginity is looked at as a fault
rather than a virtue.
2. The reason for allowing men and not women is in order to protect the woman’s
religion. If a Muslim man requested his Christian wife not to bring alcohol or pork in
his house and that she not wear mini-skirts or kiss his friends, she could comply
without affecting her religious teachings. However, If a Christian husband requested
his Muslim wife to purchase alcohol and serve him pork, to wear mini-skirts and kiss
his friends since it is his custom to kiss the wives of his friends. It is natural for a wife
to try to please her husband. In the case of the Muslim wife, that could lead to the
destruction of her faith.
3. Marriage to non-Muslims is discouraged in situations where Muslims are weak or in
the minority in order to safeguard the religion of the children. If a Muslim man
marries a non-Muslim woman in the West and their marriage ends in divorce, or the
man dies, the courts will award custody of the children to the wife who will likely
raise them as non-Muslims. However, if they were married in a Muslim country, the
Sharee􀂵ah would not give the children to a non-Muslim mother. They would instead
be given to either the husband or his relatives in order to insure they receive a Muslim
upbringing.
                                                                            SOURCE:- DR. BILAL PHILIP
                                                                                                      BOOK OF DAWAH

GENERAL DAWAH ISSUES

MUSLIMMEN ARE POLYGAMISTS:-

Muslims are often accused of being promiscuous because polygamy is legal in
Islaam.
1. Islaam did not introduce polygamy. Unrestricted polygamy practiced in most human
societies throughout the world in every age. Islaam regulated polygamy by limiting
the number of wives and establishing responsibility in its practice.
2. Monogamy of the West inherited from Greece and Rome where men were restricted
by law to one wife but were free to have as many mistresses among the majority slave
population as they wished. In the West today, most married men have extramarital
relations with mistresses, girlfriends and prostitutes. Consequently the Western claim
to monogamy is false.
3. Monogamy illogical. If a man wishes to have a second wife whom he takes care of
and whose children carry his name and he provides for he is considered a criminal,
bigamist, who may be sentenced to years in jail. However, if he has numerous
mistresses and illegitimate children his relation is considered legal.
4. Men created polygamous because of a need in human society. There is normally a
surplus of women in most human societies.1 The surplus is a result of men dying in
wars, violent crimes and women outliving men.2 The upsurge in homosexuality
further increases the problem. If systems do not cater to the need of surplus women it
will result in corruption in society. Example, Germany after World War II, when
suggestions to legalize polygamy were rejected by the Church. Resulting in the
legalization of prostitution. German prostitutes are considered as workers like any
other profession. They receive health benefits and pay taxes like any other citizen.
Furthermore, the rate of marriage has been steadily declining as each succeeding
generation finds the institution of marriage more and more irrelevant.
5. Western anthropologists argue that polygamy is a genetic trait by which the strongest
genes of the generation are passed on. Example, the lion king, the strongest of the
pack, monopolizes the females thereby insuring that the next generation of lion cubs
will be his offspring.
6. Institutional polygamy prevents the spread of diseases like Herpes and AIDS. Such
venereal diseases spread in promiscuous societies where extra-marital affairs abound.

1 Russia: 46.1% male to 53.9% female; UK: 48.6% male to 51.5% female; USA: 48.8% male to 51.2%
female; Brazil: 49.7% male to 50.27% female (The New Encyclopaedia Britannica, vol. 17, pp. 34, 270,
244). Exceptions in China and India due to wide-spread infanticide on a national scale.
2 According to the Center for Health Statistics, American women today can expect to live to be 77.9 years
old, while men can only expect to live to 70.3.
7. Polygamy protects the interests of women and children in society. Men, in Western
society make the laws. They prefer to keep polygamy illegal because it absolves them
of responsibility. Legalized polygamy would require them to spend on their additional
wives and their offspring. Monogamy allows them to enjoy extra-marital affairs
without economic consequence.
8. Only a minority will practice polygamy in Muslim society. In spite of polygamy
being legal in Muslim countries, only 10-15% of Muslims in these countries practice
polygamy. Although the majority of men would like to have more than one wife, they
cannot afford the expense of maintaining more than one family. Even those who are
financially capable of looking after additional families are often reluctant due to the
psychological burdens of handling more than one wife. The family problems and
marital disputes are multiplied in plural marriages.
9. Conditions have been added for polygamy in many Muslim countries. For example,
in Egypt, the permission of the first wife must first be obtained. This and similar
conditions are a result of colonial domination. No woman in her right mind will give
her husband permission to take a second wife. Such a condition, in fact, negates the
permission given by God in the Qur’aan.
10. Others have accepted polygamy on condition that it not be for “lust”. That is, if the
wife is ill, or unable to bear children, or unable to fulfill the husband’s sexual needs,
etc., taking a second wife is acceptable. Otherwise it becomes “lust” on the husband’s
part and is consequently not acceptable. The reality is that “lust” was involved in the
marriage of the first wife. Why is it acceptable in the case of the first and not the
second? As has already been pointed out, men are polygamous by nature. To try to
curb it by such conditions will only lead to corruption in society.
11. Feminists may object to this male right by insisting that women should also be able
to practice polygamy. However, a woman marrying four husbands would only
increase the problem of surplus women. Furthermore, no child would accept his or
her mother identifying the father by the “eeny meeny miney mo” method.
12. The question which remains is, “If God is good and wishes good for His creatures,
why did he legislate something which would be harmful to most women?” Divine
legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. If a certain
legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a
minority, the general welfare of society is given precedence.

ARRANGEDMARRIAGES:-

Muslims are often accused of forcing their daughters into marriage
1. Islamic law requires that females must give their permission before they are married.
Prophet Muhammad (r) said, “The permission of virgins should be taken and their
silence is their consent. ” On one occasion a woman came to the Prophet (r) and
informed him that her father had married her off without her permission. He offered
to annul her marriage, however, she did not accept his offer saying that she only
wanted to confirm her right. A previously married woman has the right to choose for
herself.
2. Muslims are encouraged to help their children find suitable marital partners since
males and females are raised separately in society. Women are spared having to look
for their own mates.
3. From a Western perspective, where teenagers are often required to leave home and
go out to work and look after themselves, it would seem ludicrous for parents to later
on suggest whom they should marry.
4. It has become a practice among some Muslims to force their children to marry their
cousins. For Muslims in the West it becomes a means to help their family members
also reach the West. Consequently, there have been a number of cases reported in the
newspapers in England of the Home Office rescuing Muslim girls from forced
marriages at the airport. There are also many Muslim girls who have run away from
home rather than be forced to marry relatives in villages in Pakistan or India. Such
girls are being given new identities by police authorities and will likely lose their
Islaam in the process.
MUSLIMWOMENCANNOT MARRY THEMSELVES:-

The Muslim woman is considered oppressed since she must have her father􀂶s
permission to get married.
1. Islaamic law requires the permission of a woman’s father for her marriage to be valid.
Prophet Muhammad (r) was reported to have said, “The marriage of any woman who
marries herself without her guardian􀂶s consent is invalid.”
2. From a Western perspective in which teenagers are required to leave home and fend
for themselves, it would seem unthinkable that the father’s permission would be
needed for marriage.
3. The Muslim woman lives a sheltered life. She is not used to dealing with men outside
her blood relatives whom she cannot marry (mahaarim). The father will be more
capable of judging the young man objectively. The young woman could easily be
fooled or sweet-talked as she tends to be more emotional in her judgement.
4. If the guardian refuses proposals for illegitimate reasons like the persons tribe, race,
color, status, the young lady has the right to seek redress from the court. If he judge
concludes that the father is wrongfully preventing his daughter from marriage, he
may take the guardianship from the father and act as the girls guardian.


PALYGAMY:-

Muslims are often accused of being promiscuous because polygamy is legal in
Islaam.
1. Islaam did not introduce polygamy. Unrestricted polygamy practiced in most human
societies throughout the world in every age. Islaam regulated polygamy by limiting
the number of wives and establishing responsibility in its practice.
2. Monogamy of the West inherited from Greece and Rome where men were restricted
by law to one wife but were free to have as many mistresses among the majority slave
population as they wished. In the West today, most married men have extramarital
relations with mistresses, girlfriends and prostitutes. Consequently the Western claim
to monogamy is false.
3. Monogamy illogical. If a man wishes to have a second wife whom he takes care of
and whose children carry his name and he provides for he is considered a criminal,
bigamist, who may be sentenced to years in jail. However, if he has numerous
mistresses and illegitimate children his relation is considered legal.
4. Men created polygamous because of a need in human society. There is normally a
surplus of women in most human societies.1 The surplus is a result of men dying in
wars, violent crimes and women outliving men.2 The upsurge in homosexuality
further increases the problem. If systems do not cater to the need of surplus women it
will result in corruption in society. Example, Germany after World War II, when
suggestions to legalize polygamy were rejected by the Church. Resulting in the
legalization of prostitution. German prostitutes are considered as workers like any
other profession. They receive health benefits and pay taxes like any other citizen.
Furthermore, the rate of marriage has been steadily declining as each succeeding
generation finds the institution of marriage more and more irrelevant.
5. Western anthropologists argue that polygamy is a genetic trait by which the strongest
genes of the generation are passed on. Example, the lion king, the strongest of the
pack, monopolizes the females thereby insuring that the next generation of lion cubs
will be his offspring.
6. Institutional polygamy prevents the spread of diseases like Herpes and AIDS. Such
venereal diseases spread in promiscuous societies where extra-marital affairs abound.
1 Russia: 46.1% male to 53.9% female; UK: 48.6% male to 51.5% female; USA: 48.8% male to 51.2%
female; Brazil: 49.7% male to 50.27% female (The New Encyclopaedia Britannica, vol. 17, pp. 34, 270,
244). Exceptions in China and India due to wide-spread infanticide on a national scale.
2 According to the Center for Health Statistics, American women today can expect to live to be 77.9 years
old, while men can only expect to live to 70.3.
7. Polygamy protects the interests of women and children in society. Men, in Western
society make the laws. They prefer to keep polygamy illegal because it absolves them
of responsibility. Legalized polygamy would require them to spend on their additional
wives and their offspring. Monogamy allows them to enjoy extra-marital affairs
without economic consequence.
8. Only a minority will practice polygamy in Muslim society. In spite of polygamy
being legal in Muslim countries, only 10-15% of Muslims in these countries practice
polygamy. Although the majority of men would like to have more than one wife, they
cannot afford the expense of maintaining more than one family. Even those who are
financially capable of looking after additional families are often reluctant due to the
psychological burdens of handling more than one wife. The family problems and
marital disputes are multiplied in plural marriages.
9. Conditions have been added for polygamy in many Muslim countries. For example,
in Egypt, the permission of the first wife must first be obtained. This and similar
conditions are a result of colonial domination. No woman in her right mind will give
her husband permission to take a second wife. Such a condition, in fact, negates the
permission given by God in the Qur’aan.
10. Others have accepted polygamy on condition that it not be for “lust”. That is, if the
wife is ill, or unable to bear children, or unable to fulfill the husband’s sexual needs,
etc., taking a second wife is acceptable. Otherwise it becomes “lust” on the husband’s
part and is consequently not acceptable. The reality is that “lust” was involved in the
marriage of the first wife. Why is it acceptable in the case of the first and not the
second? As has already been pointed out, men are polygamous by nature. To try to
curb it by such conditions will only lead to corruption in society.
11. Feminists may object to this male right by insisting that women should also be able
to practice polygamy. However, a woman marrying four husbands would only
increase the problem of surplus women. Furthermore, no child would accept his or
her mother identifying the father by the “eeny meeny miney mo” method.
12. The question which remains is, “If God is good and wishes good for His creatures,
why did he legislate something which would be harmful to most women?” Divine
legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. If a certain
legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a
minority, the general welfare of society is given precedence.
                                                                             
                                                                                            SOURCE:- DR. BILAL PHILIP                                               ,                                                                                                                               BOOK OF DAWAH